What Are You NOT Good At? Is It True?

Now that you have a sense of the framework of this conversation let's start connecting it to you personally. We don't tend to think about what we think about so imagine you and I are going to go on an adventure to just start looking at some of the programming in your mind to see what's in there and learn how it's creating your life. I have an cartoon in my mind of a skull that opens like a trunk and we're pulling out ribbons of paper with sentences on them but that's just me. 

I just want to forewarn you that periodically there's stuff in your brain you don't want to look at. For now just practice having curiosity, courage and compassion with whatever is in there. 

Let's get started. What's something you're NOT good at? Actually take a second and think of something. It doesn't matter what it is but it's helpful if it's real to you and your life. Let's call this your "not good thing." Write it down or capture it in some way. 

Maybe you tell yourself you're not good at math, or being with people, or being consistent, or being on time, or you're clumsy. Pick one, any one and instead of just hearing it like you normally do, let's have a look at that sucker. Let's say your thought/sentence is "I'm not good at being on time". How do you know? Maybe somebody told you when you were a little kid. Maybe lots of somebodies have told you. Maybe you notice it yourself - look at that, I'm late, yesterday I noticed I was late too, and the day before and the day before. It seems like I'm late a lot. Okay now imagine I have a magical meter that you put your hand on and it tells you what percentage of time you're late. 

Now imagine I believe I'm mostly on time - sometimes I'm late but not typically. Let's say I also put my hand on the magical meter and it tells me what percentage of the time I'm late. Now imagine both of our numbers are 20% meaning we are both 20% late. How can that be? You think you're always late and I think I'm hardly ever late. But aren't we both just observing what's true? Turns out we're not. You are looking for EVIDENCE that your thought "I'm not good at being on time" is true and noticing when you're late and I'm looking for EVIDENCE my thought "I'm mostly on time" is true and noticing when I'm on time. By the way, it doesn't matter that the percentage is 20% or that we both have the same percentage. What matters is what you're looking for EVIDENCE of and you're always looking for evidence of your belief.

So let's go back to your "not good thought" - the thing you actually said you aren't good at. What if what you believe about yourself isn't actually true? I really want you ask yourself about this. Consider that what you believe about yourself isn't actually true. Take some time with this. Start to notice when you say your "not good thought" to yourself in real life and ask yourself in the moment "is it true?" or "what if it's not true?" See what starts to open up for you. You might just notice how often you have the thought, you might notice that you only have the thought in certain circumstances but you have the opposite thought in other circumstances, you might just ask yourself "what if it's not true?" and have no answer in response or you might have an answer in response. More than anything this is an exercise in shining the light on what's going on in your brain to practice awareness and curiosity. You can't do it wrong and whatever you discover is good, even if it's that you hate doing the exercise. Report back what your "not good thought" is and what you discover in the looking.